SMS Jokes

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!

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"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."

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A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

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Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!

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Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

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A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

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A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!

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Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!

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What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!

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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

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Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".

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A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".

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Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age...

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What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

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God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

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Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.

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A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!

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sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker

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Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

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When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

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r mosquitoes religious? Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you

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What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.

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